Feelings of overwhelm, irritability, impatience, tiredness, lack of motivation, an uncertainty that you’re doing enough, maybe a lack of joy, or even anger and resentment. These are the hallmarks of homeschool burnout. Burnout can happen to anyone, at any point in their homeschool journey. It’s an unpleasant experience and left unaddressed can affect our mental health, our relationships, and ultimately our decision to keep homeschooling. 

So how do you avoid it? Or how do you handle it before it becomes too serious? 

Start by taking time to reflect.

A regular practice of reflecting on your homeschool through journaling or discussions with a trusted relative or friend can help you identify issues early. Questions to ask yourself are:

• What is going well in my homeschool?
• What could be better?
• Are there specific areas that are causing you stress?
• Are there outside factors that are causing stress and impacting homeschooling?

You can also ask your child(ren) how they’re feeling. Particularly, if you are already feeling an uneasiness in yourself or your kids this is important feedback. You can ask them:

• What do they like about your homeschooling?
• What makes them anxious, frustrated or unhappy?
• What changes would they make in their daily routine?

Then look for the underlying causes.

There may be circumstances beyond your control - moves, new babies, illness, career change, loss, these will all cause changes to your routine and impact your daily life and, of course, may cause or add to all of the feelings we mentioned earlier. Acknowledge those things if they’re there, don’t diminish them. And then look for the things that are in your control. Even behind those major life circumstances, are there smaller causes, annoyances, or issues that you can do something about?

Examples of underlying causes are:

• Over-scheduling of activities
• Trying to adhere to a strict schedule
• Trying to do too much academically
• Not taking time for self-care
• Unhappy or frequently complaining kids
• Behavior or emotional issues with kids (or with you, or with your spouse)
• Curriculum that isn’t working - it could be too boring, too difficult, too time-consuming, or not a fit to your child’s learning style or your teaching style

Finally, brainstorm and implement solutions

Now with a better handle on what’s going on let’s look at ways to address the issues or prevent them in the first place. I like to bucket these solutions into three large buckets: 1) Re-inspiring yourself; 2) Essentializing your days; and 3) Spicing it up.

Re-inspiring yourself can help you become motivated to homeschool when you’re facing difficult circumstances, when you’re doing too much because you don’t know what to say no to, and/or when you’re feeling uncertainty about the quality or quantity of what you’re doing. I suggest starting by remembering why you’re homeschooling. What started you on this journey in the first place? If that’s a tough thing to think about (maybe you started homeschooling because your child was facing difficult circumstances or something outside of your control) then think about what parts of homeschooling have benefitted you and your child? How has homeschooling improved your life or that of your child?

From there, you may want to reach out to a trusted friend to have a conversation about how you’re feeling or reach out to others in your homeschool community to reassure yourself that you’re not alone. Talking to other homeschoolers, and not only commiserating but also sharing their excitement and passion can re-invigorate our own passion. Reading a homeschool book or listening to a favorite homeschool podcast can also provide sparks of inspiration. I particularly enjoy Julie Bogart, author of The Brave Learner and host of the Brave Writer podcast. Her company is about writing but her book and podcast go far beyond writing to a lifestyle of homeschooling. 

Lastly, in the re-inspiring category, you want to make sure that you are getting the care you need. This doesn’t mean spa days and candles. To me, self-care means ensuring that you feel like your best self. Think about what you need to be yourself. Is it quiet time alone on a daily basis? (Kids no longer napping? Institute a daily quiet time where everyone goes to their own spot - if screens are the only way to make this happen then use them.) Is it making sure you read everyday, watch your favorite show, listen to a podcast? Or connect with a friend via phone or Facetime or in person (real facetime) at the coffee shop? Is it exercise, getting enough sleep, or eating intentionally? Identify what you need and prioritize them as part of the next step.

Essentialize your days. These ideas address issues such as doing too much, over-scheduling activities, trying to adhere too strictly to a schedule, and not having the time for things that matter (like that self-care we talked about earlier). Essentializing equals cutting back but to do that you need to figure out what to cut and to do that, you need to know what is important. 

Identify what you want to focus on right now. This should only be 1 - 2 things; it could be an academic goal, it could be a relationship, it might be emotional development, it might be a fun activity. For example, you’re on the cusp of a reading breakthrough and you want to allocate time to that. Or you haven’t gotten to science all year and you’re feeling guilty about all the labs that haven’t been done. Or your child is in a phase where they’re having a really tough time dealing with disappointment and you need to focus on emotional development. Or you’ve been trying so hard to adhere to the schedule and get everything done that everyone is unhappy and needs some fun. Choose 1 or 2 things to focus on and let other things go.

Make space in your days for your priorities. And when you accomplish something to do with your priority each day you have succeeded! Everything else is nice-to-have, not essential. 

Finally, spice it up! These types of solutions will help if you’re dealing with boredom, frustration or annoyance with a particular curriculum, general unhappiness, and overwhelm. Be open to doing something different. Go on a field trip. Bake something. Make plans to meet friends at the pool or skating rink or playground or movies or for ice cream. Play a game. Say yes to everything your kids ask for a day.  Is there another curriculum you could try? A movie or documentary you can watch instead of the book you’re reading? Can you go to the deck, the park, or the library to do your work instead of your usual spot? 

Find the fun and recapture some joy. Adding bright spots and things to look forward to will lighten everyone’s mood!

Remember,

If you are feeling burned-out, please take the time to give yourself the care and attention you need. Not only will you be helping yourself but you will also demonstrate to your family that emotional well-being is important and necessary. And remember you are not alone; there is a community who is here for you - ready to listen and to commiserate and to support you.