We have heard it said that withdrawing your child during the school year is being used as a “Get Out of Jail Free” card.  This perspective is usually talked about in conjunction with a student who is somewhere in the truancy process.  The stories we hear from school administrators is that families go directly from an attendance meeting to the district main office to withdraw their child for the purpose of AVOIDING TRUANCY proceedings. 

Does this happen?  Yes.  Is it this cut and dry? No.

The administrators blame truancy as if it is the root cause of the issue. However, truancy is not a cause  - families do not want to be truant! Truancy is an effect caused by deeper, complicated and often heartbreaking situations. Homeschool advocates talk to many families who have been trying to work within the public school system for months, many times for YEARS.  They have tried and tried to gain assistance from teachers, principals and administration.  They have spent many hours crying with their child, talking through issues that are causing stress and anxiety.  Parents have pulled their car over day after day on the drive to school so their child can vomit.  Parents have left work early many, many days, year after year, as the school calls to have their ill child picked up early.  Children have spent sleepless nights knowing the next day was a school day.  These are mild examples of trying to get a child to school day after day.  Extremes include things we don’t like to talk about, including self harm. 

Let’s think about this family and what the start of their day is like.  They fought before bed last night about getting to school the next day.  No one slept well. Parents, the anxious student and their siblings, awaken - all aware of what is about to happen, again. The battle to get out of bed, into the car, and into the school building.  Each minute of the morning is a battlefield of emotional messes. 

Now imagine that scene repeating for a week, a month, 3 years.  Every year they have barely held it together; every year they have managed to keep attendance just under the truancy bar. 

Today it’s not working, the child will not make it out of bed, or into the car, or into the school building.  Today will be an absent day that will push over that bar into chronic truancy.  Another phone call, another meeting. 

The family is broken from all the months and years of this.  They leave the meeting, or family court, they go home and immediately send the email to withdraw their child from school.  Homeschooling was not their plan, they tried and tried but now they see it as the only way to keep their child safe and healthy.  They haven’t figured out what homeschooling will look like for their family.  They can figure that out later.  Right now the most important thing, the ONLY important thing, is that their child is safe and can find how to be happy again. 

The student and the family will focus on emotional and physical well-being.  The relief that the child no longer has to go to that building is huge.  No fight the night before, no sleepless tossing and turning for the whole household, no battle to get out of bed.  Safe.  Sleep.  These will be the first steps to finding peace.  Peace will lead to interest in learning.  Not immediately.  Eventually.  Life will change completely.  Slowly the family will figure out education at home. 

Let’s see mid-year withdrawals for what they usually are, not a “Get Out of Jail Free” card.  Rather it’s a lifeline grabbed when all else was exhausted. 

If you are the family in this situation, please know that we, as a community, are here to help you. Here are some resources we recommend to get you started and always feel free to reach out to our Member Advocate.

Quick Start Guide to Homeschooling

Upcoming Introduction to Homeschooling Workshops (held monthly in-person or via Zoom)

FAQs about Homeschooling in Rhode Island